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Identity mix up.

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A guy is in the grocery store whena pretty woman smiles at him and says hello. He is taken aback and can't place her.
"Do I know you ?" he asks.

"I think you're the father of one of my kids" she answers.

He racks his brain to think how that could be and then remembers the only time he had been unfaithful to his wife.

"Wow" he says "Are you the stripper from my bachelor party , who tied me down on the pool table and ******* me, with all my mates cheering , while you licked whipped cream off me ?"

"No" she says " I'm your son's teacher"

Clio IV - onboard computer problem

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Yesterday I bought a used 13' Clio Grandtour 1.5dCi.

Everything is ok, but today I noticed that onboard computer works strange.

Odometer, current fuel consumption works ok, but average consumption, range, used fuel is restarting all the time (in about every 300-400m.)

I assume that somebody (previous owner) broke instrument cluster when he tried to change language (from Danish to Polish) or... changing a total millage.

Can you help me? what can I do? is there something I can do on my own? Or I needed to replace instrument cluster? (I found new one on my local advertising website in really good price - about 25 euro - brand new)

Best regards,
Jacob

Trafic MkI 2165 petrol engine

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Hi folks, does anyone know if the water pump is driven by the cambelt or just a normal belt from the crank?
Cheers.

Glow-plug system fault.

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A while ago my car was not starting. I took it in for a due service and the glow plugs were replaced. I replaced the battery myself. I don't use my car often but I noticed the next time I used it, that the engine was struggling to start similar to the original problem.I checked the fault codes and it was a glow plug related fault code (P0670). I bought a new relay and tried it but the fault was still occurring. Recently I've been busy and reluctant to spend any more money. My car still struggles to start but not as much as the weather is warming up. Can I leave the issue or would it be best to try and resolve it?

Megane dynamic 1.4 diesel 2004

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Hi all
I have been having a problem for a while, my Megane dash board says steering locked and won't start, then I've took the fuse out in the engine and disconnected the battery, then sometimes it starts.
Now I've brought a new battery it was ok as long as I don't double lock it, now it's started again after removing fuse 15a I think for 10 minutes and disconnecting the battery due to ( steering locked ) comes on! Then it started again but now lights are coming up on the dash
The power steering felt like it had gone
The airbag light came on
The service light came on
The stop light came on
The electrical fault
One by one
I've had the fuse box taken out and cleaned up,
New battery
Head scimmed
New turbo
New cam belt
New alternator
New spark plugs

Stereo came on one night after being locked so I took it out and put a new one in
The windows played up
Like that's not enough lol
I love my car and need it please any advise welcome ( apart from scrap it ) lol
Cheers Laurie

Temp Gauge Low and Flickering

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This may help other Clio owners. Clio Mk 111, 1.2 16v.

Temp gauge (the vertical bar type), Normally showing four bars when hot, then went to only showing two, and ocasionally flicked up to four, and then back to two, but then (over a few days) stuck on two bars when hot.

Used software to see temp in real time, and logged, running temp, it was 76 C, themostat should open at 89 C, so thermostat was not closing fully - hence fitted new thermostat, which comes complete with housing, and new gasket. :smile2:

You will also need an adapter to plug into your OBD 11 diagnostic port.

Megane 1.4 Diesel 2004

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Hi all
I have been having a problem for a while, my Megane dash board says steering locked and won't start, then I've took the fuse out in the engine and disconnected the battery, then sometimes it starts.
Now I've brought a new battery it was ok as long as I don't double lock it, now it's started again after removing fuse 15a I think for 10 minutes and disconnecting the battery due to ( steering locked ) comes on! Then it started again but now lights are coming up on the dash
The power steering felt like it had gone
The airbag light came on
The service light came on
The stop light came on
The electrical fault
One by one
I've had the fuse box taken out and cleaned up,
New battery
Head scimmed
New turbo
New cam belt
New alternator
New spark plugs

Stereo came on one night after being locked so I took it out and put a new one in
The windows played up
Like that's not enough lol
I love my car and need it please any advise welcome ( apart from scrap it ) lol
Cheers Laurie

Renault megane dynamique 1.5dci 2004

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Hi all
I have been having a problem for a while, my Megane dash board says steering locked and won't start, then I've took the fuse out in the engine and disconnected the battery, then sometimes it starts.
Now I've brought a new battery it was ok as long as I don't double lock it, now it's started again after removing fuse 15a I think for 10 minutes and disconnecting the battery due to ( steering locked ) comes on! Then it started again but now lights are coming up on the dash
The power steering felt like it had gone
The airbag light came on
The service light came on
The stop light came on
The electrical fault
One by one
I've had the fuse box taken out and cleaned up,
New battery
Head scimmed
New turbo
New cam belt
New alternator
New spark plugs

Stereo came on one night after being locked so I took it out and put a new one in
The windows played up
Like that's not enough lol
I love my car and need it please any advise welcome ( apart from scrap it ) lol
Cheers Laurie

espace 3 code reader

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Hi all, after recently changing a bad lamda sensor on the espace and the associated fault code that popped up, I would like to obtain a code reader for reading faults, I've tried elm327 but it wouldn't communicate with the Ecu..ive heard that the espace ecu, s are difficult to read..any ideas on a reader that works and is affordable, cheers

Renault Fluence 2012 AT oil

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Dear All,

I own Renault Fluence 2012 AT, 82000 km.
the manufacture never advise for AT oil replacement and i am afraid to damage the gearbox in case the oil has lost its viscosity.

The authorized service center also advise that the tiny metal parts in the old oil are healthy for the gears.

please advise what is the correct action? shall i keep the oil as it is? or i need to replace it?

Thanks

Ahmed Azmy

Grand Scenic 2011 cruise control not switching on

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Recently picked up a 11 reg Grand Scenic with CC and SL. When I flick the switch for the speed limiter it lights up on the display that it's active and I can use the steering wheel controls to adjust the speed. However, when I flick the switch to cruise control nothing happens, no message appears on the display and CC doesn't work.

I'm hoping it might just be the rocker on/off switch but before I start investigating are there any known issues which may cause this?

TIA.

Site not secure..

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Before I log in to renault forums http://www.renaultforums.co.uk/..I get to the left of that not secure..that means any sneak could be getting info password ect..is there something that needs to be done to keep me and the site safe and sound :idunno:

lambda sesnor location

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I have 2005 megane 1.6 16v. i have changed the lambda sensor as says there is a fault but when diagnostics came to clear it the same samer fault was still present and the warning light on dashboard is still on, also engine misfires quite badly. Any thoughts

Looking at a 2003 1.6 16v Clio. What to check?

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Hi all. First of all sorry if this is in the wrong place but Havent worked the forum out properly yet!

I am looking at a 2003 1.6 16v Clio tomorrow to buy and just want to know the common problems they have. Its done 80,000 miles but has had lots of work done already such as head gasket, service, water pump, cambelt, sunroof resealed, UCH repaired. So I know all that should be fine. The only advisory is the drop link on the passenger side which will need replacing

Just need to know anything else to keep an eye out for really

Thanks!

Grand scenic 1.5 dci 2007 injector problem

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Hi

I have an injector knock on my car so want to carry out a leak back test

i have a Grand Scenic 1.5 dci 106 bhp

How do i access the injectors as i've taken off the plastic top cover and cant see them or a way of accessing them

Can anyone talk me through this

many thanks

Grand scenic 1.5 dci 2007 injector problem

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Can anyone tell me how to access the diesel injectors

I've taken off top cover but can't see how i access them to do a leak back test

Sorry if this has posted twice as my comp is playing up

thanks

Reset Electronic Parking Brake Koleos -08

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Hi !

I need to replace my brakes for the handbrake though i just dont stand still in slopes. The car has run about 220000km, so i think its about time.

But ! i have heard you have to reset the handbrake when you have change the brakes. I find this to many renault models but not to the koleos. How do i do this ? Or is it not necessary ?

I have the Clip computer to. Please help.

Regards Robin

Scenic II 1.5dci alternator change

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Hi, couldn't find any advice on my particular engine on this forum or youtube already.
I keep having to whack the alternator with a hammer to get it to work. Need to change it as i'm selling it. I've got a used one but been quoted 2hrs labour £80 to fit. I've done alternators before that have taken 10 mins. This looks difficult access though.
Is it as bad as it looks?
Was going to have a go but don't want to get halfway through only to find I need to take the front end of the car off or something.
Any advice or tutorial would be appreciated! Thanks :)

2010 scenic hands free card problem

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Can anyone advise pls..car locks automatically (as it should) when walking away from car,but will not unlock automatically when pressing handle..new batteries fitted..p.s..boot lock works hands free..

Lag III subframe replacement

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Right, first of all let me say, Yes - I am a total Tw@ and still can't believe what I've done.
Got in my car to come home from work and immediately I started driving got loud knocking/clanking noise from front passenger side. Got home when starting to get a bit dark but decided to jack it up and have a quick look. Pushed trolley jack under and started to lift on what I thought was a good place - if only I hadn't been rushing so much or too lazy to get a torch. What I was jacking on was a bracket fixed to the side of the front subframe and as soon as the car was lifted the bracket folded upwards and peeled the side of the subframe up leaving a gaping hole - see picture and try not to laugh!
Now I've made a couple of enquiries about putting this right with some welding but so far nobody I've asked welds aluminium and a bodyshop said subframes can't be repaired like that and have to be replaced. I'm toying with the idea of claiming on my insurance in the hope my stupid mistake would be covered even though it wasn't caused by a collision but with the car being over six years old I reckon it could well be written off as an uneconomical repair. Had it from new and only 52K on the clock so don't really want to lose it yet!
Question 1: Any bodyshop boys out there who might have some idea what the cost of replacing the subframe might be?
Question 2: Obviously the subframe is now weakened but how unsafe do you reckon it is to still drive it around locally (no bombing up motorways) until it's fixed or scrapped?
You can all wipe the tears from your eyes now and I'll wait for your comments and nominate myself for the Renault Forums Knob of the Year Award

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